Composition

                 This is the hardest four words that I could say to someone. It takes both heart and mind to cooperate with each other just to tell this words sincerely to somebody “I Am Very Sorry “. It takes a lot of humility to accept that you are the one who is wrong.

                In my part, for me it is very easy to say Thank You or even say Sorry to people. But I have someone, somebody that would take time for me to say sorry and it is God. Many times I hurt God in my actions knowingly, in my words, even rebelling towards Him; I did because of the reason that I’m hurt of the situations around me. I cannot understand my emotions and feelings and it is controlling me. It’s just because I became so tired of following and pursuing God in my life. Of course, human as I am, I have pride, my mind is telling that I’m right and God is wrong. And mind is also telling me that I hurt myself too much and if I don’t want to feel that pain again I must not say sorry or take any act of humility towards Him. Yes, I was driven by my emotion and I hardened my heart. For me saying sorry to someone (God) who hurt you so much is a joke.

                I don’t know but though how much I want to rebel, do my own thing, it’s just God cannot be resisted. His Love cannot be resisted. Whenever I looked again on the cross, I remember how He sacrifice Himself for me. 

                Still at the end, I said “I Am Very Sorry!” for being so rebellious and doing the things that did not please you. Like not praying and reading His word. I found myself crying again and then my heart was so stirred up that I can’t contain it. And I then realized that all those thoughts are just lies that came from the devil himself. 

For me, the humblest thing is whenever I say sorry to Him.          

                Yes, it may be tough for me to chose and say sorry to God. But after all what important is I was freed by the emotion of angry and disappointment and no hard feelings anymore. It’s like I’m floating in heaven, that feeling that you want to experience everyday. Also I know in my heart that God also has forgiven me even though I fail Him many times.